Life at Twenty
Twenty years old. Two complete decades wandering about this earth, developing and learning and growing to the point of classifiable adulthood.
It’s a weird concept to think about sometimes.
At twenty you’re old enough to vote, buy cigarettes, get into some clubs, sign your own papers without parents permission, and basically do everything you have longed to do since you hit the teenage years. Well, almost everything. It’s feeling old but in reality you’re not quite old enough to do “real” adult things. It’s still relating to “I’m Just a Kid” by Simple Plan. It’s still fan-girling over hearing your favorite boyband’s music play on the radio. You still feel the way you did at nineteen, waiting desperately to hit the next milestone of an age. (Constantly. Waiting.)
At twenty you’ve probably been in college or have been working part-time or full-time or have traveled around for two or three years post-high school. You’re feeling pretty independent compared to those high school days when you were stuck in a routine of taking a bus or getting dropped off in the morning, sitting from bell to bell as each period passed just liked clockwork, studying the main core subjects. Your days are now filled with seeing new faces every day compared to the same ones you’ve known for the last four years (or even longer), making small talk with the strangers in your lecture halls, in the elevators, at the cafes. It feels 100x more liberating than any point in your high school career. But it somehow feels way more isolating.
At twenty you may have had multiple mid-life crisis’ spent worrying about your undergrad major, wondering if where you are is where you actually need to be at this point in your life. Wondering if it’s not where you’re meant to be, what can you possibly do to get to where your heart longs to end up? For those who have a higher desire to be in the arts and creative fields-(that in case you haven’t heard yet, you can’t make any money in!)-you’re reevaluating your options. Weighing the facts of having little-to-nothing in your savings account and not being able to rent a car versus the stigma that surrounds being a college drop-out; not receiving a degree that will help place you in a 9-to-5 job at a desk that will most likely be the burial ground of your passions. Sounds fun, right?
You begin to dislike the system.
At twenty you may have been lucky enough to have found people in life who are incredibly supportive and like-minded about the system that frustrates you, the creative world you’re working to step your feet into, and what the bigger picture of this giant thing we call life really is. You’ve been introduced to a world filled with excitement about the infinite possibilities that lay ahead. This is what helps you get through twenty.
With three and a half months left of twenty, I think it can best be described as “lost”. Between constantly feeling confused about what you want to make of your life, to not having any clue of what to do or where to start, It’s a constant maze you’ve been thrown into and are desperately trying to make your way out of. But it’s only twenty.
There is so much more that can happen beyond twenty, and for now I am going to do everything I can to make the most of it. After all life is our biggest adventure, so why waste it?